if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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