My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
