so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
