drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I got inside last night via doggy door
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
