how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
