Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
