i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
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