whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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