Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
