i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
