We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
