didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
