is your mom at the bar?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
