the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
