So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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