he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
