But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out