I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts