She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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