ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
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He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
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I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.