i just made my gag reflex go away.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.