Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
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We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
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He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.