I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
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they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?