it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
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his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
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So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...