just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?