Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize