I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
