i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
