i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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