what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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