I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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