Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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