Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
