The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
