No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
