I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
