FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize