Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
