just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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