I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
