just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Btw I puked in your glovebox
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
