Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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