don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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