We're facebook friends in real life
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
