it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Randomize
