Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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