i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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