Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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