whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
