Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
