Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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