Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
