i think my mom watched the whole time
that's an acceptable place to lick
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
