Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize