By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
