my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
