Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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