dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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