Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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