One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
