my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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