He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
