Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You're a waste of cheezeits
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
