she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
only you would photoshop your dick
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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