Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
