i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
