Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
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