You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I just blew my weed a kiss
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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