i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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